Things You Should Know When Booking A Wedding Musician Or Band

My goal with this page is to give you enough information to shop around for a wedding musician or band. Unless you've planned a lot of weddings or booked musicians before, you might not be aware of some of the issues that come up. Some of this is background material. If I go over something you already know, I apologize in advance.

The Wedding Industrial Complex

There are only three things you need in order to have a wedding. If you're missing one or more of them, you can't get married. I call them the three big P's. You need:

• The partner (someone to marry you)
• The promise (the vow you make to each other, and also the presence of people to witness that vow) and
• The paperwork (the marriage license, the officiant, and whatever else is needed to fulfil any secular or religious obligations you need so as to make the marriage official)

Anything else, including music, is optional. Yet the vast majority of money spent on weddings is for optional things. The three P's don't cost much. You hopefully didn't have to buy your future spouse, and you don't have to pay money to make each other a promise. There are fees for officiants and marriage licenses, but they're cheap compared to, say, a catered meal.

Don't let anyone put pressure on you to buy something you don't actually want. You are the customer, and you alone determine what you "need" at your wedding. If the specific products or services I offer fit into your big plan for your wedding day, that's great. If they don't, that's OK too.

I wrote this page as a public service. It's OK to end up using what you learn on this page to hire someone besides me, if that's what fits your wedding idea and your budget.

Logistics

Most weddings consist of a ceremony followed by a reception. This section breaks a wedding day down from a musician's point of view.

Part 1: The Ceremony

The music often begins before the ceremony starts. People are coming into the ceremony area (possibly a church) and being seated. Ten to fifteen minutes of instrumental background music are appropriate here. In a church, this will generally be sacred music, but in a theme wedding it could be anything.

The musical part of the ceremony begins when the wedding party comes in. Sometimes there's processional music for the bridesmaids and the groom. The bride enters last, usually with the Wedding March from Lohengrin by R. Wagner. This is the famous "Here Comes The Bride" song. It should wrap up just as the bride gets into position. This is where a live player outperforms a CD.

A ceremony seldom lasts more than an hour. In it, there may be scheduled music such as a hymn or music for the lighting of a unity candle. The actual exchange of rings or vows, and any prayer, is done without musical accompaniment. The musician must be perfectly silent when not playing. Shuffling sheet music, tuning, or messing with the instrument is bad.

Sometimes the venue affects the kind of music that can be played and the gear that must be bought. The most conservative churches do not allow secular music, a few forbid recorded or amplified music, and I've been in one that forbids any kind of music but the human voice. Of course the acoustics in any church are good enough to let a singer or musician be heard. The same can't be said for a ballroom, a gymnasium, or the rose garden at the Albuquerque BioPark (and I've played these). For a big ballroom or an outdoor wedding you need a microphone or some kind of speaker system. Such weddings are often secular and more casual, and they sometimes feature popular songs. The best person to advise you is the person in charge of the facility. They know what has been performed there, what sounds good, and what is or isn't allowed.

If you want to feature a musical friend or family member by asking him or her to sing and play during the ceremony, you need to inform the musician you hire well in advance. Don't just spring the song and the player on him or her at the last minute. All musicians, including professionals, sound better when they're prepared. They also do a far better job of bringing out the best in your soloist's sound. So get your wedding player a copy of the song several weeks in advance.

Make sure you find out whether your musician is willing to accompany an amateur soloist. I do it gladly because I believe the wedding ceremony is to honor the spiritual and family aspects of the marriage. That's what the music is there to serve, and I serve the music. So even if the soloist is the least talented three-year-old on this green earth, my job is to do what I can to help him or her be at ease and sound good, to make the ceremony everything it can be. But I'd be lying if I said all pros are willing to do the same. There are some very good wedding musicians who don't agree with me. They believe a performance with a less-than-perfect soloist reflects badly on them and hurts their reputation. So their business policy is to never perform with amateurs at weddings or funerals. While I don't agree with that policy it is a free country, and they can have whatever policy they like. Just do yourself, and your soloist, a favor and make sure you discuss accompaniment before you book the musician. If there's a chance you might get a family member to sing or play, find out whether your pro has a no-amateurs policy before booking. After booking is too late.

After the wedding ceremony is over, the participants file out and this is when the recessional is played. Mendelssohn's Wedding March is customary but many couples want something else. During the 1980's and 1990's there was a lot of interest in popular songs as processionals and recessionals, but it was a fad. These days, brides and grooms prefer to customize the ceremony by selecting the songs or hymns to play in the music breaks, if there are any.

Part 2: After The Ceremony

The musician's job does not necessarily end when the wedding party is out the door. She can keep playing as long as people are filing out. Once everyone leaves, a pianist or organist is finished because the piano or organ can't be moved. A string quartet or harp player can scoot out into the hallway and play background music for the receiving line or photographs.

Book a ceremony musician for the length of time your ceremony will take, plus half an hour. If you think there may be a delay, add an extra half hour. The fact that many musicians require minimum three-hour bookings is a problem if you only want them to play the ceremony. If your reception does not begin immediately after the ceremony, or if the reception is at a different site, the extra hours you pay for are wasted. This keeps a lot of people from hiring ceremony musicians.

Part 3: The Reception

If the reception is at the same place as the ceremony and comes immediately after it, people often want background music while they talk and eat. This is a convenient way to re-use the ceremony musician if you've paid for a minimum three-hour booking. The ceremony musician finishes up after an hour or two, usually after everyone is done eating. This is more than enough time for cake and punch in a church basement or for a short ceremony and reception in a home.

For a large secular wedding and reception there's usually a dance, so after people finish eating the DJ or dance band takes over. Unless the ceremony musician is a member of this dance band, she seldom plays for the dance. The only exception is a themed wedding with Renaissance, medieval, or ethnic music.

So: if you plan to have dancing, expect to find two sources of music, one for the ceremony and one for the wedding.

Expense Factors

There are three main things that affect the cost of your wedding music. When comparing bands or musicians, consider the size of the band, the length of time they are playing, and the level of experience or professionalism of the players.

It costs more to hire a big group than it does to hire a small one because the fee must be split among more players. The musicians also have to rehearse together, and that takes time. The bigger the group you're trying to get together, the harder it is to line it up with everyone else's schedule.

Bands and soloists are paid by the hour, so the longer they play the more it will cost.

For a more experienced, reliable or high demand player, expect to have to book earlier and pay more. Also, if you're trying to find someone at the last minute, expect to have to pay more because in order to accommodate you the musician(s) will have to give up family time, a lesson, or another gig.

Experience, Reliability, And Reputation Are Marketable Commodities

Picture this. You're a bride, dressed up to the nines, and you've arrived at the church. Everyone is assembled, the groom is waiting at the altar, the officiant gives you the cue, and you step forward expecting to hear the wedding march you've been dreaming about since you were two. Instead, as your satin-clad foot hits the carpet carrying you forward into the aisle and into the view of everyone you know and care about, you hear... nothing. You glance over at where the organist is supposed to be and see empty space.

It doesn't really matter what happened or why: you are now without music.

This is the experience you pay to avoid by hiring a professional instead of a friend or a buddy. A professional musician usually knows others whom he or she can call on to take over gigs at the last minute in case of sickness or emergencies, or they can furnish you with a CD to be used if they get hit by lightning on the way to the gig. An emergency on a professional musician's part does not create an emergency on your part. Nor will it disrupt your wedding.

Get More Than One Bid

It's OK to open negotiations with as many people at once as you want to. Simply tell them all what you're looking for, give them the dates and times plus a rough idea of what you want, let them know that they're one of several people being invited to bid, and ask each of them to submit a bid and discuss their qualifications. Then, within a few days of having all the bids, pick the one you like and tell the rest "thanks but no thanks". Get a written agreement about who, what, when, where, and how much. Then, in case lightning strikes or your pianist drops dead of a heart attack minutes before the ceremony, have a CD player on hand.

Some people like to place ads and encourage the musicians to come to them, but they end up wading through applications from people who can't do the job or who don't play the kind of music they are asking for. It's one way to get bids, I suppose, but it takes more time. You can't control who is bidding and you don't get to screen people before they bid.

The First Contact: Getting A Bid

You can get a bid by E-mail or phone. Simply contact the musician and ask for one. In order to bid, the musician needs to know the following:

• The date of the wedding
• The time of the wedding
• The location of the wedding
• The number of hours being booked
• Whether it's ceremony or reception work (and how much of each), and
• Your first name and a contact number or E-mail

At that point he or she can bid, and then you'll have a dollar figure. If you know what the musical style and content will be, you've got enough information to compare this musician with others and make a decision.

A BID IS NOT A BOOKING. You don't have a booking until you've got a written agreement (sometimes a contract) specifying the exact date, time, and duration of the wedding and also the price. If you agree to pay for the services on a specific date, even if it's just verbally, you've booked that musician.

Once you've booked a musician, you don't book a second musician for the same job without canceling the contract or agreement with the first. You might lose your deposit if you do. It's OK to hire a ceremony musician and then book a DJ because those jobs are unrelated. It's not OK to hire a second ceremony musician in case the first doesn't show.

If you don't have the date or time nailed down, or if you aren't prepared to give your full legal name and your contact information, you can't expect to get a booking and you are unlikely to get a bid.

Get The Deal In Writing

A verbal agreement is still a contract, but to protect your rights you need for the deal to be in writing. A verbal agreement is not good enough. E-mail will suffice provided you have the following things hammered out and both E-mail an agreement:

• The place
• The time
• The number of hours
• The kind of music to be played
• The total payment, including tax, and when it is due
• The amount of the deposit (if any)
• The cancellation terms under which the deposit, or part of it, may be returned if you have to cancel, and any time limits or procedures associated for cancellation, and
• The names and contact information for both parties to the contract
• What happens if one of you can't hold up your end of the deal, such as if the musician gets sick and can't perform, or if you for some reason need to postpone the wedding date due to a sudden illness, a death in the family, etc.

If you don't have the date, time, and place hammered out, it's too early to be looking for a wedding musician. It's kind of like trying to wash the windows of a house you haven't built.

For Your Own Security

You need to have the contact information of the person with whom you're doing business. This is so you can get in touch later. A street address is preferred but postal codes are not necessary. Any request for your driver's license number, credit card numbers, or Social Security numbers is unreasonable. It should make you suspicious even if the person you're talking to can play their instrument. Just being able to make music does not make a person honest.

Be prepared to provide the same information you're requesting of the musician.

It's in your best interests to hire someone with an established business, a business license, and some kind of reasonable community presence. That doesn't protect you 100% against shady people, but it helps.

Deposits, Taxes, And Fees

Depending on how big the gig is and how much other business the musician is likely to have to turn up if you cancel, there may be a deposit. This deposit should be no more than 50% of the fee, including tax. Expect a receipt for the deposit. Generally if you pay by check, that check will be cashed. This is the performer's way of making sure you're a real person.

Once you pay the deposit you are booked, the rest will be due on the day of the performance before the first note is played. No payment means no music. It's not reasonable to ask the musician to perform on credit and wait for payment "later". Too many of us get stiffed that way.

A business licensed to operate in a place where sales or gross receipts tax applies is required by law to pay it, so that tax will either be built into the fee or passed on to you.

In terms of payment, the musician's clock starts ticking the second the performance is scheduled to start. If you're running late, you don't get to add extra time to the end for free. If you want the musician to stay longer because the ceremony is running late or because the party is really rocking, expect to pay for the time. Extra time is not automatic. If your musician has another booking after you, she may not be able to accommodate you. During wedding season it's not unusual to play two weddings a day, and some people even manage three.

Musicians expect to be paid by cash or check. Very few are set up for credit card transactions and few people accept money orders because they are too often fraudulent. If you're paying by check, it's reasonable for the musician to ask for your driver's license number or some similar identification.

Speaking of law, if the check you write happens to be bad, the musician will probably contact you and ask you to fix the problem with cash. If you don't do that immediately, expect to be charged with a misdemeanor, and probably convicted unless you choose to plead guilty. A musician doesn't have the time and money to go after a bad check writer in civil court, and doesn't have the wherewithal to enforce the kind of $25 bad check fee a grocery store can assess. But since writing bad checks is a criminal offense, all a victim needs to do is make a police report. The police handle it from there. In terms of people to rip off, small business owners are not a good choice.

Protocol

The musician providing background music will usually play in "sets" of fifteen to thirty minutes. Then she takes a break for five to ten minutes and comes back to play some more. The shorter the set, the less of a break there is between them. The purpose of the sets is to give people a chance to talk, mingle, change seats, move tables around, or do noisy things that have to be done but that disrupt the music. A break between sets is a relief to people with hearing aids who are having trouble making out the conversation. It's also a great chance for the master of ceremonies to make announcements and for people to embarrass the bride and groom into kissing.

Musicians are just like any other vendor: it's unprofessional for them to be seen eating or drinking in front of customers. Your musician is not your guest. No musician expects to be fed at a wedding gig, and everyone eats before coming. But very few turn down a meal or a trip through the buffet line if it's offered. If you choose to do that, it's very nice of you, but wait until your real guests have eaten their fill and there's a break between sets. If the service is not buffet and you've got extra servings, offering them to the hired help is really going above and beyond. But your first concern should be the background music for your guests, which should not be disrupted. Stash the food somewhere safe and out of sight, and let the musician know where it is, so it can be eaten discreetly or after the gig.

Food for musicians may be optional, but water is not. Wind instrument players need to soak their reeds, and singers need to rehydrate especially in a dry climate or at high altitudes. Carrying instruments and equipment around is also thirsty work. No professional musician should have a water bottle visible to the audience (that's what set breaks are for). But since the set breaks are short, musicians need to be able to get to the water quickly. The water also needs to be a reasonable temperature. Some like it hot, others like it ice cold.

Besides water, you may offer non-alcoholic beverages. It's unwise to offer alcohol, except after the last note has been played. The kind of pro who accepts booze before or during the gig (unless he or she is voluntarily staying late to keep the party rocking) is not the kind of vendor you need. It's just as inappropriate for a wedding musician to be drunk as it is for the caterer or minister. The 1980's are over, and not even Metallica drinks booze on stage any more. If someone in your wedding band "needs" a couple of drinks to loosen up enough to play, that person has a problem that he or she had better solve independently. It is not your problem. After the performance, if you want to invite your musicians or any other vendors to join the party it's up to you. Sometimes they will, sometimes they won't. If they can't stay or have another gig to go to, don't take it personally. Also, the musicians do have to drive.

Like your bartender or caterer, your musician should never have a tip jar visible, and should not solicit or accept tips. The only place you should ever see a tip jar for a musician is in a restaurant or club, or when someone is busking on the street. In cases like these, the musicians are paying for tips and it's part of their compensation. At your wedding or reception, you're picking up the bill and paying in full. Even if they play requests, they should not accept tips for doing so.

Your musician will generally check with you personally, or with whoever booked him or her, before leaving.

You need not offer help loading in or out. Carrying equipment is part of the musician's job. Even a tiny, slightly-built musician is capable of carrying his or her own instrument, amplifiers, and gear. Most gentlemen will offer to help simply because it's in their nature, especially because, to them, it's a social setting. Yet the musician is in a work environment. So an offer of help will most likely be turned down politely. As a group we're picky about how our gear gets loaded or handled. Besides, if an expensive piece of equipment gets dropped, whose fault would you rather have it be?

Things To Look For

When you're interviewing musicians, three big things should be on your mind:

• Do they have the skills and equipment to create the effect you want?
• Are they able to follow through on the commitment they make to you? and
• What is going to cost?

Here are a few things you can use to separate the wheat from the chaff. The presence or absence of a given thing doesn't necessarily mean a person is honest or professional, but if you look at the big picture you can get an idea as to whether the person you're talking to can deliver the goods.

One Product, One Price

The fee to book the musician or group for two hours of wedding performance and reception work shouldn't be different from two hours of, say, business reception or private party work. Different price scales may exist for high-demand dates and times, but you shouldn't be charged more just because it's a wedding instead of, say, a retirement party.

If you suspect someone of double-pricing, just make contact from different E-mail addresses. From one, ask about the price to play a wedding, and from the other address ask about the price to book "a party gig" at the same date and time.

Samples Are Available

The very least you should expect to see is a Web site featuring names, pictures, and a music sample or two. You don't need to be able to download entire songs. If the site is designed for (or by) someone with dial-up Internet service, they should be willing to E-mail them on request.

For a while, the thing to do was to have a demo CD. Musicians who get their business chiefly through wedding planners often still do that. Those who get most of their customers through the Internet advertise on-line instead.

Take a good look at the URL of the band's Web site. It's fairly easy to set up a page on social networking sites like MySpace or FaceBook, but if they've gone to the trouble of putting together an actual dot-com site they've invested actual time and money in making and registering it.

They've Been Around A While

You don't want your wedding to be the very first one your musician has played professionally. It's kind of like being the first person operated on by a new surgeon. Make sure the person you hire has been playing and performing in your city for at least a year or two. Prior to that, he or she should have been playing for church, family weddings, friends and the like for several years even if it hasn't been for pay.

A Properly Run Business

A professional musician has the necessary citizenship or paperwork required to be able to work in your country. He or she registers a business, collects the required taxes, writes out receipts and operates within the law. If you're dealing with someone who wants to be paid under the table, understand that it's not a legitimate business venture. You don't have much recourse if things go badly.

Professionals know that they need to be in contact with their customers. A pro provides a working phone number that connects to at least an answering service. He or she returns phone calls and E-mail in a timely fashion. He or she shows up on time to meetings, rehearsals, and gigs, or else calls to explain why there's a delay. He or she promotes his or her business by accurately stating what he or she can and can't provide. A professional makes accurate bids and estimates, and keeps the lines of communications open so that if there's a change in plans, everyone knows about it.

On top of all this, a professional delivers what he or she promises, on time and on budget.

Reasonable Boundaries And Business Practices

Your musician should not be afraid to give you contact information that includes some kind of physical or mailing address. In exchange, she expects yours. You cannot effectively book services from anybody if you (or they) are incognito... although you can get yourself on the hook for a legal commitment.

Long discussions and negotiations aren't in the musician's best interests. Her goal is to qualify you as a customer, and determine whether you're in the market for his or her services. He or she will try to give you an idea of what the product is and how much it costs. After that, the ball's in your court and the musician will go back to serving, and preparing to serve, the customers he or she already has. Which, for a successful musician, is a lot of people.

Here's a set of rough guidelines as to what's appropriate:

• It's reasonable to request audio clips or a picture if they're not available on the musician's Web site.
• It's reasonable to ask if the musician or band is making a public appearance. If so it's reasonable to go check out the show.
• It's reasonable to ask questions about the musician's experience and qualifications, and to find out what instrument and style of music is being played.
• It's reasonable to ask about experience, and to ask how long the band has been together. You can also ask for past customers who might act as references.
• It's absolutely reasonable and in fact necessary to ask about price. We aren't squeamish about this, and we aren't offended if you talk about money.
• It's reasonable to ask about discounts or special pricing for veterans or other groups. If you like to barter, or if you want to negotiate price, it's OK to try that. Some people love barter (I'm quite fond of it) but not everyone negotiates. Don't ask, don't get.
• It's perfectly reasonable to ask about song requests or to specify a particular song you want, provided you don't keep changing it.

• It's not reasonable to expect a musician to spend more than fifteen or twenty minutes trying to get your business. A custom recording is not a reasonable request and neither is a live, in-person audition especially at a place besides that musician's studio. The exception is if you're willing to pay for the musician's time during the audition. If you've got a big budget and you want to hear everyone live before committing, it's OK to pay people to play for you. If you demand a free audition, you're likely to get exactly what you pay for. The more demand there is for a particular player's time, the less of it he or she has to interact with a customer who isn't 100% sure he or she wants to book, and the less likely the player is to audition for free for a one-shot gig. You'll always get a few people who are willing to do that, but it's because there isn't much demand for their time. There are only two reasons they're not in demand... either they don't play very well or they're unreliable and/or inexperienced.
• It's insulting to contact a professional musician and demand he or she prove basic competence. It's kind of like asking a plumber to snake out a couple drains for free just to prove he's a real plumber.
• It's a sign of immaturity to make sarcastic or insulting remarks to try to get a musician to change his or her way of doing business. Some musicians have firm pricing structures and not everyone negotiates.
• It's kinf of creepy to suggest a one-on-one meeting outside a musical setting unless it's to exchange sound clips or something. You wouldn't suggest meeting the florist or the bartender for coffee or drinks unless you wanted something besides a business relationship. Since you're supposed to be getting married, you don't want to come across like you're hitting on the hired help.

If you settle on a price and then have to change something such as the date, the number of hours, or the custom songs, expect the price to change. The more custom songs you have and the more last-minute changes you make, the higher the odds your musician will make a mistake.

A lot of people who use the Internet for advertising get hit by scams. Musicians are no exception. We've got ways of figuring out who the real customers are. You of course don't want to be accidentally identified as a scammer. So I'll let you in on a few things not to do.

• Don't ask a musician to be a wedding planner, or to organize and pay other people on your behalf. Even if we were qualified to do that, we're not going to fall for the old third-party payment scam.
• Don't ask to pay with a money order or cashier's check.
• Don't ask a musician to accept payment from people besides yourself. We expect to know who we're doing business with, just as you do.
• If you're from out of town or especially out of the country, don't say so. Just carry on the phone conversation or E-mail as if you were at home. Nearly all the scam contacts we get have some out-of-town component, and although some out-of-town customers are legitimate, it's a big red flag.
• Don't use garbled syntax, text message-speak, or bad spelling in your E-mail. Use proper English.
• Don't be so paranoid about protecting your identity that you refuse to give the musician enough information to complete a booking.

If do the things a scammer does, expect to be written off as a scammer.

A Professional Attitude

Professionals understand that they are in the business of giving customers what they customers want. They recognize that if the customer wants something besides what they have to offer (say they're a jazz band and the customer is looking for a string quartet), that particular gig isn't going to be theirs no matter what. They also accept that if their price is too high, the customer will go somewhere else. There are a few customers whose budget for music is zero. So if they expect to be paid at all, they also recognize that sometimes their pricing doesn't fit the customer's budget. That's why a real pro will never give you a sales pitch.